Monday, January 28, 2013

Bedroom Misadventures: Episode 4

You've seen me talk about doing DIY spa fun at home with Husband.  Although he's not exactly in touch with his feminine side, he does love the attention of being exfoliated with a sweet smelling sugar scrub, being massaged, and relaxing to the soft light of candles.  I'm more than happy to oblige.

A few nights ago, I put together another one of our wonderful spa nights.  I got the sugar scrub ready, the basalt stones set up in case he wanted a hot stone massage, placed the candles, and made a bubble bath with a recipe I had found online that was repeated over and over with such authority and vehemence that I thought it must be a good recipe.  This recipe called for castile soap like Doctor Bronner's (I used peppermint Dr. B's), some essential oil (lavender for me), glycerin, and water.  Simple, yes?  I thought so.

I mixed it all up in a pretty glass container and set it on the side of the super-crazy-shiny-tub-that-I've-spent-all-day-cleaning-in-preparation-for-this.  Then, I waited for the kids to go to bed.  Everything was going according to plan.

I ran the tub and added the bubble bath.  Husband noted his surprise and pleasure at the bubbles forming.  Everything was going great, until the bubbles, as soon as they formed, vanished.  There were no bubbles in the bubble bath, and we hadn't even stepped into the tub yet.  What was there was milky white and very fragrant bath water, so we just continued on and got into the tub.

So far, so good.  Husband and I were enjoying each other's company, rubbing each other down with new wash cloths and just being present.  I was relaxed, he was relaxed and then...

Did I mention I used PEPPERMINT Doctor Bronner's for the bubble bath?

Maybe you don't know where I'm going with this.  Let me explain.  A lady's parts are very sensitive.  Think of the cool-but-slightly-burning sensation you get in your mouth when you eat a peppermint candy.  Now think of that same sensation, but stronger, in a place where it should not be.

Fortunately, the feeling stopped almost immediately after I got out of the water and rinsed off.  Husband thought it was funny and endearing, as he always does when one of my experiments goes wrong.  Well, lesson learned.  Peppermint is not for baths.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Njoy Pure Wand Review

Every now and then I find a toy that Husband and I just fall completely in love with.  We found that kind of toy in the Njoy Pure Wand.  Like many luxury toys, I wavered over whether or not this one was going to be worth the asking price, but the stellar reviews and the "You must get this toy!" sentiment among toy testers had me taking a second look.  I realized that though I have a glass toy that is similar in shape, I am always dropping and breaking things.  I've dropped my glass toy no less than three times, and I knew eventually it was going to shatter.  Enter the Pure Wand, which is darn near unbreakable.

A little bit about it: The Njoy Pure Wand is a piece of stainless steel awesomeness.  It is double ended, having two separate, distinct heads.  By my measurements, the larger head is 4 3/4 inches around, and the smaller is 3 1/4 inches around.  The length, if you measure from the outside curve from end to end, is around 11 inches (9 1/2 inches if you measure down the inside curve).  It's made of solid stainless steel, pretty hefty, and fabulously shiny.  It's also hailed as the toy for female ejaculation.

The Pure Wand is made to be both a G-spot toy (women) and a P-spot/prostate toy (men).  However, Husband isn't crazy about P-spot massages, so this will be solely a G-spot toy for us, which is fine with me.

Did I mention I love with this thing?

Packaging and care:  The Pure Wand comes in a really strong cardboard box.  I do mean really strong.  It has the solidness of wood, but much lighter.  Seriously you could probably take this box and punt it like a football and not hurt it.  Inside, the lid is padded with a black, velvety feeling foam.  In the base of the box is a foam insert that has a recess the same shape as the Pure Wand.  The foam is then covered in a pink, satiny, material.

Care is very simple.  Wash with soap and water.  If you wish, it can also be boiled or cleaned with a 10% bleach solution, as long as you are very careful to rinse well afterwards.  Don't use abrasive pads.

What I loved: Everything.  Having the choice of a thinner, but still satisfactory head or a larger and filling head depending on my mood is delightful.  It's like two G-spot toys in one!

It turns out that I really need firm pressure or rubbing on my G-spot as opposed to vibrations or gentle massage, and the Pure Wand definitely excels at that.  The curve is absolutely perfect and hits the right spots without having to contort or hold it in an awkward manner.  Remember when I talked about the Bimini Ocean and how I had to hold it in an uncomfortable manner?  Or how I wished the Pink Flowered Friend had more of a curve?  That's not a problem with the Pure Wand.  In fact, this toy has Husband and I wondering if I may be capable of a G-spot orgasm after all.

What I didn't: The Pure Wand is a bit heavy, so my arm eventually gets tired, as does Husband's if he's using it on me.  Also, the firmness and shape make it a bit hard for him to tell how much pressure he's using on me, so every now and then I have to tell him to back off.  But those are problems that will come with a solid and hefty toy, and are issues I am more than willing to overlook.

Final thought: The Pure Wand runs about $110.  It's one of those toys where I can say with complete honesty that it is worth every penny they are asking for.  For such a deceptively simple looking stimulator, it's simply amazing.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Bedtime (and I mean sleep!)

Whenever we watch a (modern-ish) sitcom and they show the husband and wife climbing into bed at the end of the day, the couple always lays a foot or more apart with their backs facing each other.  I understand that they're actors and they of course aren't going to get uncomfortably close, but it always made me wonder about the sleeping life of other couples.

Some people seem to really need their space when they sleep.  Others have to be right up against their spouse.  I've wondered which is more common.  For Husband and I, we have to sleep right up against each other.  Whether we are spooning, have our backs against each other, or even just have our feet touching, we have to be in contact.  The more contact the better.  If we aren't making contact or if one of us rolls away in our sleep, neither of us sleep well.  This is big problem when it's too hot in the house to cuddle.

We've been fitful in our sleep recently.  I've had some things on my mind that have caused me to toss and turn, while Husband can't seem to stay asleep.  Between his constant waking up and my restlessness, we're exhausted.  We haven't been able to lie still enough for any sort of cuddling in the past few days, which has made him wake up more often and me roll around even more.  We're hoping tonight will be better.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Book Review: Her Guide to Going Down

Ok, I told you about the book that had tons and tons of great info, even if it didn't all apply to everyone.  Now I'm going to tell you about the opposite end of the spectrum.

First off, let me tell you that I received a copy of Her Guide to Going Down for free in exchange for a review.  I was unbelievably excited when I received it, but as soon as I opened the package and read the back of the book, my excitement turned to disbelief and then...what's a word that more than not like but less than hatred?  Whatever that word is, that's what I felt.

A little bit about it: Simply put, this is a manual for performing fellatio (oral sex performed on a man). It has a lot of information covered in a smallish book.

What I loved: Everyone will probably be able to find at least one helpful thing to take away from this book.

What I didn't:  This is where I'm going to get a smidge critical.  Honestly, almost every review I've read of this book was glowingly positive, and even though there are some helpful tidbits, I just don't get  the love.  Settle in.  I've got quite a bit to say.

First off, the color scheme of this book horribly garish.  I understand that it's probably not the fault of the author, but rather the publisher, but it needs to be said.  The main color for this book is a horrible, hot pink.  It's the color of the text of section headings and bold type, the background color in blocks of text labeled "Sex Savvy" (these are little asides sprinkled throughout the book), and even the photos at the beginning of each chapter are tinted with the same awful pink.  A little pink here and there, fine, but it's everywhere.  You may be wondering why I'm even bothering to mention the color first.  Well, it's because there is so much of this pink in the book that it becomes distracting, difficult to read, and nauseating.

Next, some info seems to be missing.  She talks about using flavored lubricant and gives some pointers of the pros and cons, but I can't help but notice she doesn't discuss the potential dangers of using flavored lubricant for sexual intercourse.  According to Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller in their book, I Love Female Orgasm, flavored lubricants usually contain glycerin, which in turn can cause yeast infections, especially in those prone to them.  However, the only con the author of Her Guide to Going Down gives for using flavored lubricant for other sexual activity is that it may become too sticky.

Also, some info seems to be pretty uncomfortable, and possibly dangerous.  An example of this is when she suggests sprinkling cinnamon on the male and then licking it off.  Now, I'm not a doctor, and I have no proof, but something deep down inside me screams that this is a bad idea.  After reading it in the book, I looked up at Husband and suggested the idea to him.  He made a concerned face and merely said, "That doesn't sound like fun to me."

Moving on, let's talk about the positions suggested in the book.  Yes, yes, we know the on-your-knees and laying down standards (unless you're brand new to oral, and if you are, welcome), but some of the other suggestions were downright ludicrous to the average person.  For one, the Standing 69.  Although the author warns it is a position "meant for true athletes," it really doesn't have a place in a beginner's how-to book.  Basically, it works like this: he is standing on his feet, and she is doing a handstand.  How many people can do that?  How many people should even think about trying it?

Finally, there is a glaring issue I have with this book.  It puts way too much emphasis on oral sex being the alpha sex act, if you know what I mean.  Even turning the book over and reading the back, the first thing I see is, "Master the art of going down--and he'll be yours forever!"  I was already disappointed when I saw that.  I knew right then the book was going to be making some questionable claims.  When reading it, I see that I wasn't wrong.  Among others, the author claims that oral sex is the way for better orgasms.  Not just a way.  THE way.  Also that oral sex has a reputation for "inviting sexual release in a way that nothing else can," and that oral has "taken center stage in the quest for sexual fulfillment."  All that, and not even through the first paragraph of the introduction!  There is simply too much emphasis on oral as the #1 sex act you should be doing.  For beginners, that's a dangerous line of thinking.  If the beginner has trouble getting started or has had failures with oral in the past, that line of thinking is potentially emotionally damaging.  ("I can't get this right!  What's wrong with me?!  It's the one thing I have to be able to do!")

Final thought: I'm going to say skip this one.  As a better sex/how-to book, it's just not that great.  There's not enough new information that experienced people would find useful, and there are too many questionable claims (and missing information) to be a good choice for beginners.

~I received this book for free in exchane for writing a review on another site.~

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Book Review: The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio

Remember when I said that I as going to do two reviews on a pair of books?  One good, one...well...OK, pretty awful.  The first review is going to be on the good one, but before we get to that, I have a couple of things to say.

It has been my experience that self-help/better sex/sexual education books are strange things.  Some are amazing.  Some are crap.  But here's the thing you have to remember: the books that are going to give you thorough information are going to give you thorough information. That means that the books that give lots of really useful information tend to be writing for everyone.  There will be sections for married people, for dating-but-monogamous people, for people with lots of partners, for heterosexuals and for LGBT people.  There will be information, sometimes lots of it, that won't be useful for everyone.  For instance, the book I'm reviewing today has a section on how to give oral sex to a strap-on dildo.  That is absolutely useless information to me. There are also brief erotica stories between the chapters.  I'm not a huge fan of erotica, so that also isn't altogether useful to me.  However, there was tons and tons of info that I did find useful.  With the really in-depth books, you have to just sort of sift through to find information that applies to you personally in your relationship and leave your sensibilities at the door.  If owning a book that includes everything but the kitchen sink isn't for you, feel free to skip this review and come back later when I talk about other stuff.

And without further ado, here's the review:

A little bit about it: The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio: How to Go Down on a Man and Give Him Mind-Blowing Pleasure by Violet Blue is a book about, you guessed it, oral sex.  More accurately, it's a book about fellatio, but there's more to it than that.  In addition to the expected tips and how-tos, there are also sections on safer sex, shaving, hygiene, anatomy and more.  There are also illustrations, charts, and diagrams, along with very brief erotica stories.  Note: If you don't like/don't get/have strong feelings against erotica, the sections are clearly marked.  You won't read anything by accident.

What I loved:  There is so much in this book that I never even thought of.  Not only are there some pretty great tips and tricks here, including different techniques to do with your tongue and hands, there are also sections about positions, comfort, male genital massage and how to practice giving oral sex if you're nervous.  For those new to oral sex, there are tips to help you get over the jitters of starting out.

What I didn't:  I thought some of the illustrations were very corny and somewhat shocking.  Not shocking as in Well, I never!  But shocking as in I'm reading along, tra-la-la-la-la, turn the page and boom!  Close-up drawing of a blow job in the works.  It's distracting and breaks up the flow.

Final Thought: I liked this book.  It has a lot of very solid and useful information, and I go back to it often.  Those picking up the book just need to be aware that the book was written with a large variety of people in mind.  If you are looking for a book that only speaks to married couples or only speaks to heterosexual couples, this isn't it.

~I received this book at a discount in exchange for writing an honest review on another site.~

Saturday, January 5, 2013

I love a good sale

~This sponsored post is brought to you by Eden Fantasys.~

One thing I love about Eden Fantasys is that there is always some sort of sale, clearance, or promotion going on.  If you wait long enough, that pretty, pretty toy you were eyeing will probably go on sale eventually.  One of the toys I plan on picking up is actually on sale right now.  It's this amazing ditty:
Njoy Pure Wand
Photo credit Eden Fantasys
What is that, you ask?  Why, that's the Njoy Pure Wand, a G-spot stimulator, or as I like to call it, "One of the Alpha Toys."  Supposedly, this piece of stainless steel is eight shades of awesome.  Is it really?  I'm not sure yet, as I won't be buying it for another few days.  I do know two things that I want to tell you.  First, almost every review I read of this thing basically says it is the toy for G-spotting.  Second, I have a glass toy that is shaped like this that I absolutely love, but I want a stainless steel one.  Why?  I keep dropping the glass one.  I'm clumsy, remember?  Anyway, that's what I'm going to be up to next.
Sex toys - EdenFantasys adult toys store
Want your own?  Check out the product page on Eden Fantasys.  It's set to come back in stock around January 7th.  However, if you aren't interested in this one, check out Eden's New Year's Sale and Clearance.  Fun things, up to 70% off.

~This sponsored but honest post was brought to you by Eden Fantasys.~

Friday, January 4, 2013

Coming up next...

We're going to be talking about better sex books.  Two in particular.  One is really, really good.  One is really, really bad.  Stick around!

Little Things

Husband and I were sitting at the table eating dinner when he reached across me and pushed my plate back.  Why?  Because I didn't notice that it was hanging half way off the table.  Then he looked at me and gave me this wink.  His special wink that means "I got this," and "I love you!" together.

You see, I'm a grown, college educated woman with an IQ in the 140s.  In short, I'm crazy smart.  However, despite these facts, I'm also an idiot.  And clumsy.  Sometimes I'm both of those things together.  This is why Husband knows to push my plate back.  This is why Husband occasionally checks the washing machine to see if I've left anything in it.  This is why he asks if I remembered to send the water bill.

Tonight I was making a snack for us.  I pulled a plate out of the cabinet and started to walk away.  Another plate came flying out of the cabinet at me.  Like the idiot that I am, I stood there trying to put together how this happened.  Husband, sitting in the living room, just laughed.  "I got hit all the way over here!" he joked.  Thankfully, it was a plastic plate, but it was not salvageable after it's suicidal leap from the plate shelf.

That man...he knows me.  I'm not going to say that we haven't had rough times.  We have.  I think every relationship will face a bit of a crisis if you give it long enough, but that's part of the craziness of being human.  For the most part, though, he knows how to calm me down when I feel like I'm going to explode.  He knows when I just need a break.  He knows that sometimes I just need a cuddle.  He just knows.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Wrapping Up the Old Year and Starting the New!

Wow, what a year!  A lot has happened for me this past year.  Some of it was positive, some negative, but mostly it was positive.  Husband and I have been more open about exploring new sexual activities and toys that we never considered, and are having a blast doing so.  Our only firm rule is no extra people (ie, no swinging, wife sharing, etc.)  That's a firm no.  Everything else is fair game!  After all, how do we know what we like most if we don't explore a little?  Along those lines, we recently picked up a book called Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes, which has instructions on everything from restraining knots and wraps, to purely aesthetic rope work, like "rope panties," along with, of course, safety information.  I'm not going to lie: it's been fun to play around with when we're in the mood.

We also tried a lot of toys this year.  Here's a breakdown (not including lubricants or lingerie).

The Best:

The Meh (didn't love it, but hate is too strong a word)
We-Vibe 3 (meh because it doesn't do what it should, but it's not useless)

Jopen Ego e3 (tons of people loved this one.  I just didn't.)

It would be hard to pick a toy from the best list and say, "This is my favorite toy of the year!"  They all do different things.  However, if I you'd like to know, the absolute worst, hands down, was the Key Io.

Now, what do I have lined up for this year?  Well, there are several things I want to try.

The Tentacle (for no other reason than it is hilarious looking)
Whatever else strikes my fancy.

In what order are these things going to come in?  No idea.  It depends on how I'm feeling when I happen to have enough Eden points for them.

I hope everyone is looking forward to a great (and sexy!) new year!