Friday, August 31, 2012


I've been trying to find like-minded blogs to add to my blog list, and having a huge amount of trouble doing so.  I'd love to find some Sex & Marriage blogs, but can't seem to do so.  Scouring Google hasn't led me anywhere productive.  Most are either opinion columns about same sex marriage or where different religions stand on sexual issues.  Although I am religious ("WHAT?!"  Yes.  Stay focused), it's not what I'm looking for.  Just looking for sex blogs or sex toy blogs lead me to all sorts of crazy places.  Though I have found a lot of blogs with really great sex and toy information, I haven't been able to find ones that are like what I'm trying to do here at Rolling in the Hay.  They're out there somewhere.  They have to be.

And why shouldn't they be?  I mean sometimes I find cutesy blogs or articles that just skim the surface about sex and marriage.  But sex, marriage, and sex toys?  I've only found one that fit the bill without being, oh, let's say interest specific, like people that actually live the slave/master fantasy in all areas of their lives.  Not...quite...what I had in mind.

Anyway, in my looking, I came across a very brief article called 5 Reasons to Hate Sex Less.  Whoa, boy.  Flag on the play.  Even though there was some good, although shallow, information there, I had so much trouble getting over the title.  Am I, as a woman, a married, healthy, adult, consenting woman with *gasp* children supposed to hate sex?  Who on earth made that rule?  Are we still stuck in the days of lie back and think of England?  I mean, someone close to me did tell me once that Husband and I have sex too often.  The statement confused me.  Her definition of normal frequency was somewhere between twice a week and twice a month.  Maybe that's normal for her, but not for us.  To this day, I don't understand why she thought my number was odd.  I won't tell you what the number is, but it is more than twice a week.  Another woman I knew thought the only sex position was missionary.  Wow.

I'd call for more sex ed, but I don't know that it would help.  I mean, even in sitcoms, you always see the husband begging the wife and the wife shutting him down.  Does that seem right to you?  It doesn't to me.  If he's in the mood, and I'm not, I try to get there.  He does the same for me.  Generally, we both end up having a great time, even if it takes a little to get going.

Am I odd for being a married woman who enjoys my husband?  I don't think I am.  I think it's more likely that there are women out there that are somehow afraid to enjoy sex or afraid to admit they do.  The idea of sex toys must be downright terrifying to them.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Coquette Corset 1063 Review

Coquette Corset 1063 GreenI don't have many pieces of awesome lingerie.  In fact, it's been a long time since I've bought anything for myself just because it was pretty.  But then I saw this corset.  Coquette Corset 1063, sometimes called the Satin and Lace Corset with Hook and Eye Closure.  I mean, really, how gorgeous is it?!  I couldn't resist getting it, but had to wait for a whole month to buy it, as it was out of stock in my shop of choice.  I purchased mine within hours of it coming back in stock, and they are already gone again, less than a week after the restock.

A little bit about it: The corset is made of polyester and is handwash only.  There are hook and eye closures at the front (one row of hooks, two rows of eyes for adjustment), and the laces for tightening are at the back.  The boning is plastic, and contains ten bones in all.  This cutie comes with detachable shoulder straps, detachable garter straps, and a bow (unties but does not detach).  It does NOT come with stalkings or bottoms.  The packaging is very simple: hanging from a fabric wrapped padded hanger and covered in plastic for protection.

Green Coquette Corset 1063 back

Coquette Corset @ rollinthehay.blogspot.comWhat  I loved: When I picked this up, I was pleasantly surprised by how heavy and solid it was.  It just felt nice.  Well made.  There is no stretch to the fabric, so no worries about it bulging out at an unflattering part of the body.  However, because of the lack of stretch, the back laces must be adjusted.  An extra set of hands is necessary for this.

I loved the length.  It came down as far as an average shirt on me would.  I stand at 5' 6", which is slightly taller than average, and so worried that I'd end up with a midriff-bearing piece.  I'm so glad I didn't!  And, the boning and shape give me a nice hourglass shape that I loved without making my shape look artificial.

What I didn't:  There is no bust support!  None!  Nada!  No underwire, no molding, nothing.  Although the corset has some minor bust shaping on the top (it bows out at that point), it can't be called support.

It's very hard to sit while wearing this.  Very hard.  The stiffness and boning holds you upright.  However, that can't be helped.  To make it more flexible would take away some of the shaping abilities.

The front is kind of stiff, so every time I got one hook through the eye, another hook came back out.  This caused a lot of frustration for me, but Husband is able to stand in front of me and do the closure easier and faster.

Final thought:  I love this corset.  It's gorgeous and feels great.  Photos don't quite do the color justice.  I find my biggest complaint is the lack of bust support.  If that were fixed, I'd give it a full 5 stars.  As it is, 4.

~I originally got this product at a 30% discount in exchange for writing an honest review off site.~

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Contraceptives and Hygiene Get Hilarious.

Female hygiene @ Rollinthehay.blogspot.comApparently, many decades ago, women used to use Lysol as a feminine hygiene product and contraceptive.

Holy crap.

Now, look, I understand the whole idea that the 50's weren't the most sexually and medically enlightened period, but, I mean, seriously???  Lysol was used for that?  I mean, I would guess that modern Lysol is stronger and not the same formula as it was back then (I'm guessing), but even knowing that, I can not wrap my mind around such a thing.  Who sees a can of Lysol and thinks, hey, that'd be great for cleaning my hoo-hah and preventing pregnancy?

It turns out that once upon a time, it was marketed as a feminine hygiene product.  Of course, now it is used for household cleaning and we know that it should never be used as a hygiene or contraceptive product.  EVER.

This shocking knowledge came from reading the post Squeaky Clean Restores Marital Harmony: Say What? over at Bombshells and Rockstars (they have excellent toy reviews, by the way).  They even posted a graphic of an advertisement from that era that says, among other hilariously sad things, that a woman should question her hygiene if her husband's love for her begins to cool.  Oh, 1950's, you so crazy.  I mean, it's bad enough that it was used as a contraceptive, but advising women to douche regularly?  Ha!

But maybe we aren't as enlightened as we'd like to think.  A few weeks ago, I saw on a sex and health forum that I haunt that some people were still curious about douches.  I told this to Husband, who immediately said, "Wait, aren't those bad for you?"

All this led me over to a Chicago Tribune article entitled, 10 Things You Might Not Know About Contraceptives.  A fantastic, sad, and hilarious read.  My favorite is number seven, which said that women in the middle ages were advised to spit three times into the mouth of a frog to avoid pregnancy.  Oh, middle ages, you also so crazy.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

The Hitachi Review

Remember when I talked about my first toys?  Questionable material, poor quality, and so forth?  Another big issue I had with these toys were batteries.

I firmly believe that batteries are the bane of toy play.  More than once I had batteries die on me at a really bad time.  It wasn't too bad if I happened to have rechargeable batteries on hand, but I didn't always.

Hitachi Magic Wand @ Rollinthehay.blogspot.comWith my hatred of batteries in mind, a few years ago I started to look to see if there was a toy that plugs in.  That's when I came across the Hitachi.

A little bit about it:  The Hitachi Magic Wand is an external massager/vibrator.  It is not waterproof, so any use with it must be careful.  The white head, roughly the size of a tennis ball, is made of a wrinkly...plastic?  Rubber?  What you get if plastic and rubber had offspring?  Anyway, underneath the head is a blue, semi-flexible neck, followed by the long, hard plastic handle with the two speed switch (high and low).   The Hitachi is roughly 12 inches from the top to the base, with a 75 inch (6 1/4 feet) cord.  It plugs in, so no worries about batteries.

What I loved:  Talk about power.  Lots and LOTS of power!  I won't lie, this is the strongest vibrator I have ever owned.  It makes the big O nearly a sure thing for me.  That is the only thing I love about it.  The strength.

What I didn't: The cord may seem long at over 6 feet, but from outlet to bed...that's not a lot of slack.  I've accidentally pulled it out of the outlet more than once.

There are only to settings on the vibrator, and even the low setting is stronger than most other vibes.  I find it's easy for me to get used to the power of the Hitachi, and be harder (for a while) for me to use weaker vibrators.

For couples play, this thing is huge and most certainly gets in the way.  In woman-on-top (cowgirl), we can make it work, but we haven't been able to find any other position we can use it in.

Final thoughts:  I've noticed that almost everyone one screams that the Hitachi Magic Wand is an item that every toy box must have.  Personally, I think that although the Hitachi is pretty good, it does have it's limits.  The cord is annoyingly short, it can't be used internally (without a special head attachment), it's big, it's heavy, it's not great for couples play.  I find that I just don't need vibrations that are as strong as Hitachi.  On a scale of 1-5 of vibration strength, the Touch is on a low 4 on the highest setting, while the Hitachi is such a high 5 that it is barely on the scale.  I find I don't mind a 4.  I also find there are better shaped toys out there for sex play...but then again, technically speaking, the Hitachi is supposed to be a muscle massager.  I'm curious as to how it became hailed as the do-all, be-all of sex toys.

The Hitachi is fun to have.  But as far as the idea that it is the one and only toy you'll ever want...I just don't think that's true.  It does what it does and does it well, but it there are others out there.  It just doesn't have to be the center of the toy world.

Friday, August 24, 2012

In the Quiet Moments

I'm having one of those extremely rare occasions when I pretty much have the house to myself.  The only noises are the hum of the air conditioner and the mechanical noises of the dishwasher and washing machine.  Do you know that when I'm up late I tend to do housework?  True story.

I'm thinking about what toy to review next and when I want to post it.  And then I start thinking about sex ed, and how it is probably coming up soon at school.  Husband and I are in agreement that we'd like to be the ones to have "the talk" with with our kids and we want it done before they go to be "educated" about the birds and the bees with their giggling peers.  I mean, really, we all know there are pretty important facts missing from sex what a clitoris is.  It seems to be a part of the anatomy that's just glossed over.  Or at least that's how I remember it.  I also remember the teacher explaining that the sperm comes from the man, the egg from the woman, and when they unite, ta-da! there is new life.  I remember understanding that, but being confused on one point: exactly how does the sperm get from point A to point B?  So I asked.

I have never before or since seen a teacher turn colors and stumble over words while answering a direct question.  And yes, she did answer it, but it made her extremely uncomfortable.  I don't think it should be that way.  I mean, I've known people that as children were sure that the euphemism "sleep together" meant exactly that, and a baby could be the result.  But then again, these are my kids, and I have another few years before I have to think of them as freestanding sexual beings.  *Shudder*

But we are such amazing creatures, aren't we?  Shouldn't we know how our bodies work?

As a fun fact, you've now gotten a peek into how my mind works.  Do you see how we got from laundry to the birds and the bees?  Late night housework--->thinking about what else I need to do--->need to post on the blog--->sex--->upcoming sex ed classes.  Fun on a bun.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

The MiMi Review

Ah, the MiMi, clitoral vibrator by Je Joue.  Remember when I said that the Touch was my first successful foray into luxury toys?  Well, the MiMi was the first luxury toy I ever owned, unless you count the Hitachi (I don't, but more on that in another post).  But I wouldn't quite call it successful.  Not completely.

First off let me give a big thank you to travelnurse, a member over at Eden Fantasys for sending me the photos for today's post!  I don't have my MiMi anymore, so no photos from me.  But we'll get to that.

Mimi by Je Joue @ Rollinthehay.blogspot.comA little bit about it: The MiMi is a silicone (or silicone covered plastic?) external clitoral vibrator.  It's rechargeable, attaches to the charger with magnets (how cool is that?), comes in a variety of colors, and just feels so darn elegant in my hand.  It looks a bit like a squashed egg shape, with the control buttons and charger port being on the widest part of the narrow edge.  Two buttons allow me to cycle through 5 vibration modes and 5 patterns.

Like all silicone toys, there is a down side: silicone toys should never touch silicone toys and silicone lubricant should never be used with them.  But I've said that before.  Moving on.

What I loved: The first thing I fell in love with, no joke, is the packaging.  An elegant black box with silver printed letters, no pictures.  Ok, there was an outer cardboard box that had the photo and all the info, but I'm talking about the inner storage box.  No naked porn stars.  No crude wording.  Just elegance.  Ahhh.

The vibrations aren't insanely strong, like a Hitachi, but are strong enough to get me there and with style!  If you are used to cheap toys, you will be pleasantly surprised by the vibrations and luxury of the MiMi.

The flat-ish shape of this piece of awesome made it perfect for sitting between Husband and I in the woman-on-top (cowgirl) position, but with him on top it hit our pubic bones pretty dang painfully.  That being said, it is light enough that I can hold it on my clitoris in a variety of positions without it getting heavy.

Both the narrow and the broad sides of the MiMi provide stimulation, so whatever I'm in the mood for, it's covered.

What I didn't love: Now we come to the part why I *sigh* don't have my MiMi anymore.  Settle in.  It's quite a tale.

For Mother's Day this year, I asked Husband for the MiMi and he readily agreed.  Sweet!  After waiting for it to come in the mail, I eagerly tore into it and plugged it in to charge.  However the charge indicator light blinked erratically (it's supposed to blink, but not in the way that it was), and there was a quiet, but high pitched sound.  I tried to readjust the charger and everything else I could think of, but no luck.

I contacted Eden Fantasys, where I bought it, and they were kind enough to get a replacement out with no hassle on my part except sending back the defective MiMi at no cost to me.

I was ecstatic with the replacement, until it also showed itself to be defective only a few weeks after receiving it.  I again contacted Eden and this time was given a very, very hard choice: another replacement or a refund.

It was a very tough choice.  I loved my MiMi, but the thought of a third defective one had me more than spooked.  My time is limited and I didn't want to have to go through going out of my way to the shipping center again to return another defective one.  I opted, with much trepidation, for the refund.

Final thought: Although I loved my MiMi and wanted to try other items in Je Joue's line, this experience put me off a bit.  Even though the MiMi did have a year warranty (at the time of my purchase), it irritated me to have to jump through so many hoops to get a working one.  However, after talking with some other owners, some of which went through the same thing, I found they pretty much have this to say: "Sometimes you get a defective one, but you can always return it.  When you get a working one, it makes all the hassle worth it!"  Personally, I'm not ready to try again, but maybe in the future!
Update 7/17/13: I'm giving the MiMi another chance.  I really did love it, and I hear that Je Joue updates their items to fix past problems.  Fingers crossed for better luck!

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Titles and Whatnot

I have thoughts.  And then more thoughts.  And then those thoughts have thoughts of their own.  And the next thing I know, I can't remember what I was up to.

Oh, right.  I remember now.  Titles.

The title of my blog, technically, is Rolling in the Hay: Life.  Marriage.  Sex toys.  I feel like people are going to focus on the term "sex toys."  Even though this blog is going to have my experiences and reviews,  it won't have only that.  I wonder if I should just shorten it to Rolling in the Hay.  But then I would have to redo my header.  Again.  If you've been watching, today is the only day since I started this blog that I haven't tweaked the header several times.

If I was just looking around at different blogs or specifically marriage blogs and saw "sex toys" as part of the title, I would probably click away.  Unless, of course, I was looking for that.

Oh, what to do.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Upon My First (Successful) Foray into Luxury Toys

I'll be blunt: the thing about cheap sex toys is that they are, well, cheap.  Think about it.  How do cheap toys stay cheap?  Well, it has been my experience that they are generally crap.  The last time I loved a cheap toy was when I didn't know any better.  Since I've learned about different materials and their safety, batteries vs. plug-ins vs. rechargeables, sizes and shapes...let's say that when I go shopping for a new addition, I have at least a vague idea of what I'm looking for.

Personally, I won't touch anything that's jelly or skin-like.  Too many people are raising too many health-related questions about them.  I figure I'd rather be safe than sorry and avoid them whenever possible.  But that's me.  And you're you.

Moving on.  When I go for toys, I much prefer silicone, or at least phthalate-free plastic, but I like silicone better.  Sometimes glass or metal.  Mostly silicone.

Which brings me, in a really round about way, to my point.  And the point of this post.  Everyone say hi to the We-Vibe Touch!

A little bit about it: the Touch is a rechargeable clitoral vibrator made of a glossy silicone (or possibly silicone covered plastic), about 4 inches long with a pointed end and a dip on one side.  At the base there is a single button that allows me to scroll through 8 vibration modes (4 speeds and 4 patterns).  Because there is only one button, if I miss the setting I want, I have to circle back around.  According to the company, the Touch is waterproof, but I haven't tested that yet.

*Quick note on silicone*  Silicone toys don't get along with other silicone toys or lubes.  That means that even though I love my silicone toys, I have to keep them separate because if they touch, they will damage each other.  The same goes for silicone lubricant.  Silicone lubricant MUST NOT be used on silicone toys.  A bummer, since I love both silicone toys and silicone lubricant.

What I loved:  Like I said, the Touch is a clitoral vibrator, not a vaginal one.  It's made to be used on the outside of the body.  I found the shape to be fantastic for both broad and pinpoint stimulation, and the vibrations are nice and deep and rumbly.  It sat in the perfect external spot on me in the woman-on-top position with Husband.

I never cared for vibration patterns on my toys before, but I have to say that the Touch's specific vibration patterns combined with how deep they are make me play with that function often.

What I didn't love: I found that running on high, the Touch only lasts for about an hour with a 90 minute charge time, and starts to lose some power after about 20 minutes.  This means that I have to be all hot and bothered before I even reach for it instead of starting with some teasing, lest it die at a really bad time.

Even though the Touch worked really well for me in the woman-on-top position, in the man-on-top it hit my pubic bone pretty painfully.

Final thought: Love it.  Despite the comparatively short running time and long charging time, this has become my favorite in the toy box.  At least for the moment.

~I originally received this item at a 30% discount in exchange for writing an honest review off site.~

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Body Paint Fail, aka, Too Much Baking Gets Me in Trouble

I'm a whole foods kind of person.  The practice, I mean, not the store.  OK, let me try that again.  I'm a from-scratch kind of person when it comes to food.  If I can make it instead of buy it, I do.  Everything from bread to chilli is whipped up in my kitchen.  And I like it.

Some weeks ago, I saw edible chocolate body paint for sale.  "Awesome," I thought.  And then I looked at the ingredients.  Wow.  I didn't know what most of that was.  Oh, wait.  Fake vanilla.  I recognized that one.  And who wants fake vanilla, anyway?  Blech.

But, hey, edible body paint!  Edible=food!  Food=recipe!  Recipe=I'm sooo on it!  TO THE INTERNET!!!

A short trip around Google showed me several recipes I could use.  Finally, tonight, I had the time to try one of them.  So while patiently dissolving sugar and water I went through the next ingredients in my mind.  I could see myself measuring out the cocoa powder.  I could also see myself using the remaining cocoa powder and emptying the container.  Could see it like it already happened.


I could see it like it already happened because it DID already happen.  I had finished up the cocoa powder when I made...sigh...chocolate oatmeal cookies as a snack for the kiddos.

No fun in the kitchen.  No chocolaty smell.  No body paint.

I'm here!

Ah, the obligatory introductory post.  As I start to write this first of firsts (and you were here for it!  Good for you!), I find I have no idea what to say.  I have oodles and oodles to say coming up, but what do you put in post number one?

Well, let's do it this way.  I'll tell you about my super humble self.  I'm a wife.  A mom.  A human.  I'm madly in love with my life and the love of my life, the Husband.

Several years ago, when I was in my late teens, my sister gave me my very first vibrator.  ("What?  Your sister?!" Yes, my sister.  Focus, please.)  In the few years that comprised my young adulthood, I bought just a couple more.  My modern self knows that those toys weren't stellar, and in fact the materials were downright scary, even dangerous, compared to the silicone that current high end toys are made of, but at the time I loved them.  Orgasms on command, both solo and with the Hubs.  How could I miss?

Did I mention these first toys were cheap?  Yeah, they were cheap.  They lasted a while before the motors died, or they broke, or they got lost.  I now know that not all sex toys are created equal!  Everyone should know that.  Seriously, I think vibrator safety and knowledge should be included in sex-ed.  If you ever think about buying any kind of marital aid (are they still called that?), it is so, so important to know what you are buying.  You just can't go by what the box says.

That's where I come in.  Here you'll find my little journal of different toys I've tried, my experiences with them, how they stack up to each other, and of course bits about my married life with kids.  Boo-ya.