Tuesday, February 12, 2013

More often? No, just better.

Husband and I are big believers in the idea that a big part of marital harmony has to do with sex life.  We've had friends come to us and complain and complain about how horrible their spouse is at [spending time with them, remembering to take out the trash, not being selfish, keeping up with the housework, putting their spouse above their friends, not being negative, not picking fights, not being passive agressive, etc.] only to find out that sex is non-existent.  As a logical person, I would think that it's the negative behaviors that are causing the lack of sex, but upon talking to these people, we find it's actually the other way around.  The lack of intimacy came first, then the negative thoughts and behaviors.  This is why Husband and I make a point to not let any longer than 4 days go between intimate encounters, but usually we have intimate time at least once a day.

Since we discovered that I am, in fact, capable of vaginal orgasms, it seemed like our frequency has increased.  Then I realized that no, the frequency hadn't increased.  It was the quality that had.  See, since we realized I can have vaginal orgasms (they're just way weaker than my clitoral ones.  So weak, I didn't notice I was having them) I've become much more in tune with myself.  Now that I recognize the sensations, we've been experimenting with different positions and toys.  Before, when I started to get the feeling that I now recognize is impending vaginal orgasm, Husband had changed positions and was speeding up.  Now that we know what to look for and what positions to start in, we're both enjoying ourselves and each other even more than before.

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