Friday, February 8, 2013


Even Husband and I have the occasional spat.  I'll admit that it isn't too often that our fights go any further than one party saying something unkind, the other getting upset, and then apologies being passed around.  Harsh feelings between us don't last all that long.

Husband has been working unusually long hours lately.  He doesn't want to; it's just a busy time at work.  Longer days for him often mean longer days for me.  I'm caring for the children on my own for longer spans of time, making and cleaning up after two separate dinners, and not being able to finish the housework until 8, 9, or 10 pm, at which point I'm exhausted.  And he's exhausted.  Tempers are running high and we want both to be with each other and to be left alone to rest.  It's a very volatile combination.

A few nights ago, fueled by exhaustion, stress, and irritation with the long hours, we both woke up in the middle of the night and had an epic argument.  Neither of us were even fully awake for some of it.  There wasn't really even anything to argue about.  We both just reached the point of hostility.

In the wee hours of the morning, we went to separate rooms.  We stayed apart for an hour or so, both awake, unable to sleep, and fuming.  I recognized the situation, fed by anger that wasn't really there.  We weren't angry with each other, necessarily.  We were angry at two weeks of very long days and not having the energy to make time for each other.  I went out to the living room and asked him to come back to bed.

We laid in bed for a long time not making any sort of physical contact.  This is strange to us, as we usually sleep right up against each other, often a tangle of arms and legs.  Eventually we both just let it all go and curled up together.  I cried, he held me, and we both finally slept.

The next morning, we exchanged our apologies.  In our waking hours, we knew what had gone wrong.    We just needed a little bit of a break from the world.  We needed each other.  We needed to be able to let it all go.  And, of course, make up sex isn't a bad ending to this kind of story.

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