Completely Unsexy Commercial

Do you remember a while back when I talked about that one article that suggested women find sex disgusting?  And how ridiculous I thought it was?  Well, I'm revisiting that.  And here's why: this DirecTV commercial.

On the surface, it's funny.  Husband finds it downright hilarious.  I found it kind of amusing, but something about it seemed wrong.  Something about it induced exaggerated eye rolling on my part.  Then suddenly, it came to me: it's just more of the same!

Think about it.  How many times in commercials, sitcoms, and movies have you seen a wife turn down her husband when he wants sex?  How many jokes about how the husband isn't "getting any" from his wife?  How many sarcastic looks have countless female actors given their onscreen counterparts?  If you think about it, I bet you can come up with a whole bunch.

Now, an alternate question.  How many times have you seen the opposite situation?  The only times I've seen women on screen happily have sex with their mate is when she is also portrayed as loose, strange, or downright slutty.

Maybe I'm just not watching the right shows.  Seriously, if you know of any that show this situation in a positive light, by all means leave a comment.  I'd love to know they're out there.  In the meantime, it just seems like the message that is being taught is that a woman who happily has sex with her husband is strange, being a begrudging woman is normal, and the man has to downright bully his wife to get her attention.

Personally, I'm not OK with that.

Finding the Time: The Time is When You Make It

"We don't have the time.  We have kids."

I've heard this so many times now.  Sometimes, it's morphed into "We don't have time.  We have teenagers."

Parenting is an amazing journey.  It's full of ups and downs, joys and worries, small victories and quiet losses.  Marriage is the same.  It's both relaxing shelter and hard work.  As I've said before, Husband and I believe that sex is a part of marriage that affects other parts, and we're not willing to compromise in this area.  Sometimes that means we're exhausted.  Sometimes that means we stay up long after the kids are in bed.  Heck, sometimes that means we're up in the middle of the night or awake before the morning alarm!  The point is that no matter when the time is, there is time.  We make sure of that.

The other day a friend said there is no time because there are teenagers in the house.  I just don't get that.  Are the teens always home?  Are they making a nuisance of themselves?  Do you not have a lock on your bedroom door??? 

Yes, finding the time is hard.  But it's worth it.

Jimmyjane Contour M Review

Remember the other day when I told you I had ordered the Jimmyjane Contour M?  Well, it's here now.  *Happy dance.*  OK, to be fair, it came about a week ago.  But you don't care about that.  You want to know my thoughts on it.

A little bit about it: The Contour M is a smooth, ceramic massage stone that Jimmyjane claims to combine hot stone massage with massage tools.  You can put it in warm or cold water to change the temperature (as long as you test it first before you use it so you don't hurt the receiver).  It has a round, dome top for long, shallow strokes, and four points on the bottom that you can use together or individually for more intense massage.  Use a little massage oil with it so it will glide across the skin.

Inside of box

Packaging:  The M comes in a white cardboard box, printed with information on each side.  Inside is a pinkish-red color, and there is a white insert that keeps the M from moving around inside the box.  It isn't high-end packaging (although it is a high-end company), but it works.  The box also doesn't scream sex toy company, even though that's what Jimmyjane is.  The box is pretty nondescript and looks like you could pick it up in the health section of any store.

What I loved:  The Contour M works exactly the way it is supposed to.  It fits comfortably in the hand, so no finger cramps!  The dome top is wonderfully comforting for me and massages just deep enough to feel good without being uncomfortable.  Husband likes the four-pointed bottom side.  It's great for both self-massage and couples' massage.

What I didn't:  When using this tool, your hand is separated from your partner's body.  This makes it hard to tell exactly where and what you are massaging, and also makes it difficult to tell how hard you are pressing against your partner's skin.  We learned this the hard way when I yelled, "Ow, ow, OW!" when Husband accidentally pulled the M across the edge of my shoulder blade.  Three times.

Personally, I loved the dome top, but found the four points on the bottom to be too intense.  Husband, however, loved the four points, but found the dome to give too shallow a massage.  Neither of us liked using only one point instead of four.

One major issue that must be noted is this: the M is ceramic and smooth.  That means when you add massage oil, it is one slippery little bugger, and, being ceramic, dropping it is....well, a bad thing.

Final thought:  Worth it.  It's functional, it's classy, it feels great, and it's $25.  Yeah, I know I could just go out to any Wal-Mart and pick up a cheap, plastic massage tool for a couple of bucks, but I wouldn't love it as much.  As long as we keep in mind that it can be slippery and we must get feedback from each other as far as where and how hard we are pressing (stay off the edge of my shoulder blade, darn it!), we'll be fine.  We love it and will continue to use it in addition to, not in place of, regular massages.



~I received this item at a discount in exchange for writing a review on another site.~

Jimmyjane Contour M (and a little plug for Eden Fantasys)

Contour M photo credit Eden Fantasys

~This sponsored post was brought to you by Eden Fantasys.~

Hey, you!  Stop what you are doing right now and look at this.  Look at what I found.  Look at what I ordered today!  It's the Contour M by Jimmyjane!

So, what is this magical object and why am I so over-the-moon excited?  Well, in short it is a ceramic massage tool/stone.  You can warm it up.  You can cool it down.  It's smooth and white and full of awesome.  According to Jimmyjane, you use the top dome for long strokes, and the four points on the bottom for a more multi-pointed massage.

But that still doesn't explain why I'm so worked up over it.  See, Husband and I love giving each other massages.  It's a soothing, bonding, relaxing time.  The problem is that even though I can massage him for quite some time, his fingers just can't take it.  They cramp up.  Therefore, the massages I receive, through no fault of his, are rushed and sometimes painful.  I'm really hoping the Contour M will help with that.

And where did I find this wonderful item that I'm hoping lives up to its awesome reputation?  It happens to be $25 on Eden Fantasys.  It ships free if you spend $35 on their site.  Nice, yes?  I think so.

Stay tuned for whether or not Contour M deserves my love or not!


~This sponsored yet honest post was brought to you by Eden Fantasys.~

Fun Factory G4 Big Boss Review

Every now and then, I find a toy that is just so delightfully different I have to have it and at least try it.  That was the case with Fun Factory's G4 Big Boss.  It's big.  It vibrates.  It's a radioactive kind of orange.  Husband and I both love it, both for my solo time and our couple time.  However, for those people that don't like realistic looking toys, you have to be aware that the Big Boss does, in fact, look like a penis...in a weird, florescent orange kind of way.

A little bit about it: The G4 Big Boss is a large, waterproof, silicone vaginal vibrator that can also be used as a clitoral vibrator.  It comes in your choice of black or orange, is rechargeable with Fun Factory's "Click 'n' Charge" magnetic adapter (included), and features several speeds and vibration patterns that can be scrolled through by using the buttons on the plastic handle.  The "+" button increases speed, "-" decreases speed, and "*" cycles through the patterns.

I have to say that I find the "Big Boss" to be a corny name, but it does get the point across.  It is about 9 inches long (in total, including the handle), and 5.5 inches around.  That's pretty big, perhaps bigger than some people are comfortable with, and there's no shame in that.

Since the vibrator is made of silicone, silicone lubricants can not be used with it.  Use a water-based lubricant instead.

What I loved: Wow, what didn't I love?  For starters, the vibrations are very strong.  Not quite Hitachi strong, but a good 4.5 out of 5.  The gentle curve of the shaft is great for hitting the G-spot, as long as you don't mind the girth of it.  The loop in the handle makes the BB easy to hold, although I have heard that some people feel differently about the way the loop is designed.  And the buttons!  Oh, I have to say those buttons are just neat.  As long as the battery in the BB has been charged, if you rub your hand or thumb over the buttons, not pressing them, but just brushing by them, the buttons light up.  How cool is that?

The texture is mostly smooth, but there are some stylistic waves here and there, but nothing really noticeable.  As far as firmness goes, the Big Boss is firm yet flexible.  You won't have trouble with it bending when you don't want it to, but there is some flex to it.

I also have to say that I liked the packaging.  The outer sleeve was...meh.  I'm neither here nor there on the huge picture of the contents on the sleeve.  It's tasteful, but just OK.  Certainly not discreet.   But, if you remove the outer cardboard sleeve, there is a beautiful plain box inside that I also use to store the Big Boss.

What I didn't: Short battery life.  The BB only lasts 20-30 minutes running on high on a full charge.  This, in my opinion, is the main drawback.  That being said, I think the pros here definitely outweigh the cons.

Final thought: I recommend the G4 Big Boss to those that aren't new to toys and aren't afraid of size.  It's one of those toys that we're so glad that we bought, but I really don't think it is for the shy or those just beginning to look at vibrators for the first time.  Those that have had little exposure with sex toys may find this intimidating.  (Do you hear me, gentlemen?  NOT a good first vibrator for your wife.)

There are those that will find the dimensions of the BB to be too much, and the shape will be a turn off for others.  For those people, I would suggest they look at other items that Fun Factory produces.  They manufacture vibrators of every shape, size, and color along with other sexual/health items (remember Smartballs?), so you are bound to find something you like.



~I received this product at a discount in exchange for writing a review on another site.~

I'm Just Not in the Mood

Sometimes life gets in the way.  When that happens...well, it sucks.  Husband and I had been exhausted and busy, and at the end of the day we collapsed onto our living room furniture, maybe with a drink, and just relaxed and watched TV.  After a couple of days of this, something very disturbing happened: I didn't want to have sex.  At all.  What I wanted was a cup of tea and my big chair, followed by bed.  For a sex blogger, that situation is challenging.  For a wife that has a very active sex life with her husband, it is downright bad.  And it's not the first time this has been an issue.  Something had to be done.

Finally Husband, who was just as exhausted and disinterested as I was, said, "Do you want to have sex?"

I was honest in my answer.  "No.  But I feel like we should."  It was the absolute truth.  I did not want to have sex, but I was aware that we were falling into a hole that is not easily climbed out of.

We forced ourselves to get back to our old routine.  And afterwards, we felt so much better.  I think I really do believe that the more you have it, the more you want it.

Fun Factory Smartballs Teneo Uno and Teneo Duo Review

I firmly believe that working my Kegel muscles is an incredibly important thing.  Not only is it thought to prevent uterine prolapse, but it leads to stronger orgasms.  And who doesn't want that?

I never noticed how much stronger my orgasms had gotten since I started practicing my Kegels and wearing Kegel balls...until my orgasms became extremely weak.  When I worked my muscles, my husband could actually feel my muscles spasm around him when I reached orgasm.  When I got busy and forgot for several weeks, my orgasms became weak and, frankly, unsatisfying.  When I went back to using Kegel balls, guess what happened?  Yep, stronger orgasms again.

I'm now going to tell you about my favorite (at the moment) Kegel balls: Fun Factory's Smartballs Teneo Uno and Teneo Duo.

A little bit about them:  Teneo Uno is a single Kegel ball weighing .4lbs.  It has a smaller ball inside of the larger ball.  Fun Factory says that the smaller ball rolling around the inside of the larger one makes your vagina think it's about to drop something, and therefore your muscles struggle to keep it in.  The Duo works on the same principle, except it is two weighted balls attached to each other (total of .3 lbs).  The Uno and Duo can be purchased separately or as a set.  Both Uno and Duo are made of silicone, and feature a removal loop and a finger depression for easier insertion.  Remember, silicone toys should NEVER be used with silicone lubricant (water based only!) and should be kept away from other silicone toys.

 Hey, look, there's a video!

What I loved: Both the Uno and the Duo do what they are intended to do: work the Kegel muscles.  The proof is in the stronger orgasms that even Husband noticed!  The silicone is lovely, the color choice is fantastic.  They are funky and fun looking while still maintaining some class.

When I use these, I find that they are just the right size and shape for me so that my muscles definitely have to work to keep them in, but I don't have to struggle to keep them in.  It's a nice balance.

What I didn't:  The removal loop on both the Uno and the Duo are just too long.  They hang down between my labia and freaking annoy me.  I can ignore it...eventually.

I should probably add that some people have said that the Duo in general is too long for them.


Final thought:  I loved both the Uno and the Duo.  They definitely work my muscles.  However, I have to say that if I had to pick just one, I'd go with the Uno.  The Duo is fine, but the structure is just short of being too long to fit, and no, I don't have a tilted uterus.  I just find the Duo to be very long.  Add the length of the two balls together, plus the extra long removal loop, and, well, I just prefer the shorter Uno.  All in all, I'm glad I bought them and will continue to use both Uno and Duo.






~I received this product at a discount in exchange for writing a review on another site.~