Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Bedroom Misadventures: Episode 7

So, the fact of the matter is that I'm a sex and marriage blogger.  I read, do research, test products, etc., etc.  I suppose this means that sometimes I think about sex toys more than the average person.  I guess.  Just the other day, I said this on Twitter:
See, that's where my mind goes when it's idle.  Better sex toy storage.  I mean, my stuff is all hidden away from the kids and all, but geez, it would be nice to have it all in one spot.  But as usual, I digress.

A large portion of this blog is reviewing.  I mean, if you are going to drop significant money on a toy, I want it to be a toy you are going to love, not a $100 regret or a $20 safety hazard.  And because I do so much reviewing and window shopping, sex toys are never very far from my mind.  Sometimes, that's distracting.  Yesterday, it was very, very distracting.

I had an appointment for a teeth cleaning, and I swear the hygienist must have been a relative of Sweeny Todd.  Lots of pain from this routine cleaning.  My mouth hurt for hours.  But again, not the point.  I was sitting in the waiting room, just looking around, being bored, and thinking about how little interest I had in People and Redbook, when I saw it.  On the front desk was a large glass statue.  It looked very much like a giant one of these:

Thanks to Beck (NSFW and often contains nudity) for lending me the visual aid pic.

Do you know what that is?  If you've not really a bedroom adventurer or frequent sex toy shopper like some people, you may not know what you're looking at.  I'll tell you.  That is a butt plug.  It does exactly what it sounds like it does.

And my dentist had a giant one sitting on her desk.

I mean, of course it wasn't actually a butt plug.  It was just a large, glass statue that was hilariously shaped like a giant butt plug.  So, I'm staring at the floor, thinking about just how inappropriate it would be if I started laughing.  I'm sure pretty darn inappropriate.  So, there I was, eyes on the floor and pretending that my dentist did not, in fact, have a giant glass butt plug on her desk.

Update: When I told my husband this story, he started laughing and said, "When I was there last week, I thought the same thing!"'s not just me, then?


  1. Ahahahaha! That is hysterical. What if it really was one? Maybe they were going to put it in and took it out of their bag set it on the desk to answer the phone and got distracted? LMAO. That would be my office. Covered in Bad Dragon items and glass plugs. ;)

    1. Oh, no. It was like 15" tall. Definitely not a "real" one.